Difficulies of forgiving

Forgiveness-- very important. It can be rather difficult. But I think it's like a muscle, the more you do it the easier it gets, generally. I've been learning as a maturing Christian how I need God's forgiveness more now than I thought I did three years ago. If I'm growing up into an "adult Christian" and needing forgiveness now more than before, who am I to hold it back from another.
btw, there is secular research that has been out for a while about how forgiving is good for you.
I'm not going to elaborate on each unless someone asks, but here are a few of my thoughts on things I've learned in relation to forgiveness.

-- Forgiving someone does not mean you allow them to keep using/abusing you. You can draw a line, say "no," and still forgive.
-- Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation. Reconciliation takes two people (which I hope happens), Forgiveness takes one person. You.
-- We can forgive without the other person knowing we have forgiven them.
-- By not forgiving, we cripple ourselves more than anyone else. (My sister mentioned this along in relation to bitterness. Too true.) Sometimes a person has no idea they did something that hurt or offended us.
-- Forgiveness sometimes must be born out of a struggle and tears!
-- Forgiveness means letting go of our rights to anger and hate towards someone who injured us (whether it was done knowingly or unknowingly).
-- Forgiveness is a choice. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we forgave someone. (There have been times no one would have guessed I forgave someone. I tell God the struggle I am having in living out forgiveness towards a person. I pray for them. I try to put myself in their shoes. I remind myself that I already forgave them, and sometimes even tell myself where and how I did it.)
-- And sometimes, my motive is wrong. I just want God to forgive me, so I have to forgive someone. It's doing the right thing, but the heart is wrong. Until you're heart follows the decision, you can't really love that person the way God wants you to.
--Forgiving makes you stronger.
-- Not forgiving puts you at the same level (or lower) as that of the offender. Forgiving sets you above.

~Adapted from the School of Experience